Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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