I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
only if we run a train.
done.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
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I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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