Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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