i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
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the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
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Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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