Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize