Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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