hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
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We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
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First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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