My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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