No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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