i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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