I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just gargled with NyQuil
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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