just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
we made out on top of his cat.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize