For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize