you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize