Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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