If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize