Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize