I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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