So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize