My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize