Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
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You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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