So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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