Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize