If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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