my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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