i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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