as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize