I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize