conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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