I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize