My friends, they love my intelligence
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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