just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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