At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize