Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize