Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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