I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
3 2 1 whiskey
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i believe in u and ur pee
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