Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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