my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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