trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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