Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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