I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize