and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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