He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
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We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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