Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize