a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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