he shaved USA in his pubs
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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