the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A bitchslap is in order.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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