evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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