yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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