you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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